Multiplication Power – Hurt

About three weeks ago, I succumbed to my curiosity over comments on social media regarding a voice note that had been circulating. I reached out to a friend I was sure would have the said voice note and asked her if listening to its contents would help me be a better mom. Yes, I was curious but I was also very aware of the fact that I feel things deeply and I didn’t want to rope myself into emotional turmoil for ‘mahala’ (translated nothing). After my friend candidly shared her view that listening to the voice note would enlighten me as both a mother and an educator, she proceeded to share it with me. I listened to the voice recording of a Zambian mother recounting how her reality had been shaken by the devastating discovery that her 6-year-old son had been routinely assaulted by some older boys in their neighbourhood. My heart broke with every word I heard, finding it impossible not to think of my son who is five and going on six years old. As I prayed about what I had heard and for the people involved, I unavoidably thought of the perpetrators in this tragic situation, ranging from the ages of about eleven to thirteen, these evildoers are children themselves. Psychology tells us that people who were sexually abused as children may have a higher risk of being in adult relationships where they are abused physically, emotionally, or sexually. Additionally, people who were victimised may become abusive themselves. This leads me to believe that the boys of this neighbourhood, who have become the villains in this sad state of affairs, are probably the victims of paedophiles themselves. This ring of boy-child molestation is part of a revolting cycle that has the potential to multiply far beyond the boundaries of that neighbourhood.

“Jesus said to His disciples, “Stumbling blocks [temptations and traps set to lure one to sin] are sure to come, but woe (judgement is coming) to him through whom they come!” ~ Luk2 17:1 (AMP)

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” ~ Hebrews 12:15 (MSG)

“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and His rule. You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.” ~ Matthew 5:3-4 (MSG)

To hurt and to be hurt is a part of life in this fallen world. What we choose to do with our pain is what determines the trajectory of our lives and the lives of those around us. I’ve heard it said that hurt people hurt people. This speaks to the multiplication power we have been exploring. When our pain is not addressed correctly, it festers and becomes the perfect breeding ground for a root of bitterness whose fruit is multiplied pain reaching far beyond ourselves. I said in the last blog that the power of multiplication is what causes a single seed to grow into a large tree, producing many more fruits with seeds after its kind. After its kind. This wonderful law that God placed within the earth was also, unfortunately, corrupted during the fall. Now, God’s multiplication power law works for not just the good that He intended, but also the bad that Satan tries to fill our lives with. As warriors, we should not sit back and allow our adversary to wreak havoc in our lives, hurt after hurt and pain multiplied into more pain. No, rather than let hurt multiply bitterness and death in our lives, let us do the hard thing, let us do what will bring life. No, it won’t be easy. No, it won’t feel right at first but by the grace of God, for our sakes and for the sake of those in whose lives we have influence, let’s take back the multiplication power God intended to work for us and not against us. How can we do this? Here are a few things I believe, if practised regularly, will help us wield our pain for God’s glory.

Don’t ignore the pain

What I love about being African is that we are very expressive people. We know how to rejoice and we also know how to lament. When it comes to pain, ‘fake it till we make it’ doesn’t work. It hurts! Why should we go about pretending that we are not hurting? Whom does it benefit? When either of my children is hurt they cry, “Ouchie!” And yes, I am usually so kind to them when they do this, even if I can’t see the ‘injury’ they so desperately want me to see. I know I am not the only one who does this. Come on… We will even go as far as placing a plaster on the imaginary sore. When we grow into adulthood we somehow forget how to say ouchie. For some reason, we have been fooled into thinking that admitting we are hurt denotes weakness. On the contrary, it takes courage to raise your hand and say, “Hey, I’m hurt and this pain needs attention.” Let’s stop ignoring our pain. One better, let’s be the safe spaces people can run to when they need to admit they are hurt. Let’s teach our children that saying ouchie is good. Let’s model it to them by telling them when they hurt us. Yes, as a mom my children hurt me all the time. Physically as we play or emotionally when they do or don’t do certain things. I tell them. They may not fully understand now but it is my responsibility to teach them that their pain is valid and so is the pain they inflict on others. Both must be addressed. Both the person feeling the pain and the inflictor of the pain must learn not to ignore the pain. We are both. As long as we live on this side of heaven we will continue to be both and we must continue to face the pain because it won’t just go away.

Take the pain to God

We were never designed to engage with pain. When God created us His plan was never for us to hurt. Nonetheless, here we are in a world with the potential to be hurt lurking at every corner. When we are hurt the pain needs to be addressed, but because we cannot properly contend with pain in and of ourselves, we must always take it to God. God cares about every facet of our lives and wants to participate in our rejoicing and our lamenting. Let’s take the hurt to God, no matter how big or how small. Even when we are the only ones who seem to see the injury, let’s let God apply His healing salve to it. Let Him realign our perspective as His healing power washes over us reminding us that we are never too old to run to our Daddy and say, “Ouchie.”

Let the pain pay you

I visit a waxologist for hair removal. I won’t lie to you, it hurts. Each time I need a retouch I begin by mentally preparing. I make the appointment and ready myself for the pain I know I will have to endure for the hairless outcome I want. I kid you not, as I contend with the pain during my wax treatment, I pray. Under my breath, eyes tightly shut, I ask the Lord to help me be brave and give me strength. When it is all said and done, I always have the same feeling of satisfaction, glad I came and thankful to God for being with me in my ‘suffering.’ The pain of the wax or thread treatment always pays off. The Bible tells us in Romans 8 that God works all things out together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. All things. Yes, that means even our pain, when we commit to addressing it under the loving tutelage of our Father, can and must work together for our good. God wastes nothing, if we can humble ourselves and place it in His hands, He will make our pain pay us.

As we live and learn, I pray that you will practice multiplication. It will be applied to your life regardless, the quicker you realise this the more you can stack the deck in your favour. Multiply more of the good and remember that while on this side of heaven, no matter what Satan throws your way, you have the power, by the grace of God, to change the narrative.