Do Know Him?

I worked with Mwaka for over five years. The department she ran provided much-needed support for the one I ran, and we interacted quite frequently. It wasn’t until about four years after I left that job that I realised how differently she saw me. One day, I ran into her after she’d watched a YouTube video I’d recorded, one where I was trying to introduce myself and the ministry Ceaser and I were starting. She looked at me, shook her head, and said, “I was so surprised to learn that you’re an introvert.” The shock on her face was priceless. The way I presented myself at work had convinced her I was the life of the party. I laughed, because, well, the joke was on her. Now, since we’re on the subject, let me properly introduce myself.

I am an introvert. People are great, I love them, I really do, but too much socialising feels like running a marathon with no water breaks. I need time alone to think, to daydream, recharge, and to just be. But for reasons I have yet to understand, God keeps forgetting this tiny detail and shoving me into spaces that require constant interaction and putting myself out there. The only upside? It keeps me glued to Him because, without His grace, I would be a frazzled, people-dodging mess.

I’m a firstborn, which means I’ve been handed the “responsible one” badge whether I like it or not. Some days, I’d love to live with reckless abandon, but alas, my inner rule-follower won’t let me. I love music, not just as a background soundtrack to my life but as a universal language. Over time, I’ve come to realise that when I surrender this love to God, He uses it to reach me, speak to me, and occasionally check me when I’m about to make dumb decisions.

I’m a patient person. I can handle things like long lines without wanting to flip a table or pulling my hair out. But what I can’t tolerate? Whining and Clutter. My children whining instead of using their words or things out of their proper place? No. Just…no. I love hard. I give my whole heart, which means I also get hurt a lot. But instead of shutting down, I’m learning to keep loving deeply without fear. I’m also a very affectionate person, if you say you love me, I expect hugs and kisses. And no, physical touch isn’t even my primary love language. I’m a words-and-action girl. Tell me you love me, then back it up with proof.

Now, let’s talk fears. I am terrified of rats and roaches. So much so that I once abandoned my four-year-old brother in a bathroom because a rat appeared. Did I think to carry him? No. Did I run for my life without looking back? Yes. And as if that’s not bad enough, cats make my skin crawl, and I can’t even look at scaly patterns without feeling uneasy. Dry cracking mud or ant colonies along a wall? Instant shivers.

I love to read and watch TV, both of which God continues to use as tools for teaching, correcting, challenging, and inspiring me. I’m a recovering perfectionist learning to loosen up and laugh at myself. I can sing, write, cook, sort of dance, and plan like nobody’s business. I also have the capacity for extreme laziness when I so choose.

I’ve been married for thirteen years and six months to Ceaser, my best friend, purpose partner, and the vibrant colour of my otherwise black-and-white world. Together, we have two brainchildren and two actual children, Caleb and Chiara. Ceaser is my safe place, my peace, and the one person I trust with my life. Through him, I experience the depth of God’s unconditional love every single day. Plus, I get to drive him crazy for the rest of our lives. Win-win.

By profession and passion, I am a blogger, author, educator, and interior designer. Administration is my natural superpower, and I love teams, so much so that training and building them has become a core part of my legacy. Every day is an adventure, and I don’t take it for granted. Above all, I am a daughter, niece, cousin, friend, aunt, sister, wife, mother, supervisor, employer, and most importantly, a woman striving to live each day for the glory of the One who created, preserved, saved, and blessed me.

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He Himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins, and not only our sins but the sins of all the world. And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments. If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s Word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble. But anyone who hates a fellow believer is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness. Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. ~ 1 John 1-4, 10-11 and 15  (NLT)

We all long to be known, to have someone see us, truly see us, and still love and accept us. But have you ever wondered where that deep, unshakable desire comes from? It’s a reflection of the One in whose image we were made. At His core, God is holy love, poured out, reaching for His children. From the very beginning, He has longed to know and be known in the beauty of relationship. This desire isn’t a passing feeling, it’s foundational to our existence. It’s why we crave connection, why we ache for intimacy, and why even the best human relationships never quite satisfy. The blessing of salvation is this: to know and be known by our Creator, fully and forever. But here’s the real question… Do we truly know God? In what area of your relationship with God do you need to grow? Are you fully engaged in the process of knowing and being known by Him? It’s possible that you don’t know Him as well as you think. If you’ve never stopped to consider this, here are five key markers that reveal where you stand.

A Recognition of Your Brokenness.

“…But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He Himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins, and not only our sins but the sins of all the world…”

A genuine encounter with God, a real, ongoing relationship, opens our eyes to just how broken we are without Him. But instead of this knowledge driving us into hiding like Adam and Eve, it should pull us closer. We love Him more deeply and depend on Him more fully. Knowing God reshapes how we see ourselves. Without Him, our perspective is distorted, and we end up living beneath the abundant life He offers. His love transforms the lens through which we see both ourselves and others. When was the last time someone wronged you, and instead of reacting in anger, you saw them for what they truly are, broken, just like you, in need of their Heavenly Father? A lack of awareness of your own brokenness, and the brokenness of others, is a sign that you may not know God as well as you think.

A Desperation for His Word.

“…And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments. If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s Word truly show how completely they love Him…”

If you don’t depend on God’s Word, you don’t know Him as well as you think you do. If your decisions aren’t filtered through His wisdom, how can you say you are His child? A true encounter with God produces a deep dependency on Him, not just on what He’s said in the past, it is what He’s currently saying and what He’ll say to you in the future. Does His opinion matter to you? Do you care about what is on His heart?

Let me ask you something else: What is your greatest fear? Mine is living without an intimate relationship with God. The thought of walking through life without His voice, guidance or presence makes me sick to my stomach. I’m not saying I know the Father as well as I should, but I am saying that I’m seeking Him on purpose. I’ve made my relationship with Him real and necessary. That’s all He’s asking of you today, a heart that is actively pursuing Him. Because to truly know Him is to be forever changed by Him.

A Walk Like Christ.

“…That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did…”

Jesus walked the earth with power, fully aware of who He was, carrying the authority of His Father, and advancing His Father’s kingdom. How do you walk? Not just the rhythm of your steps, but how you carry yourself daily. Do you move with the confidence of someone who bears God’s Spirit? Do you transform the spaces you enter for His glory? There is a weight to the steps of those who truly know God. They walk with quiet assurance and undeniable presence. But when you are unsure of your relationship with the Father, you hesitate, you shrink back, and you second-guess your calling. You lack the confidence that true intimacy with God provides. So, ask yourself, how is your walk?

A Love for Others.

“…If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble. But anyone who hates a fellow believer is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness…”

God’s heart has always been love. But when blind religion replaces intimate relationship, it distorts that love. Instead of reflecting the Father’s heart, it breeds resentment, judgment, and even hatred, especially toward those who are different. God radically loves people and if we are truly His children, we must love people too. Not in theory, not as a performance, but with a love that sees others as He sees them. If you struggle to love others, especially those who think, look, or live differently, it may be a sign that you don’t know God as well as you think. Because to know Him is to be transformed by His love. And His love always spills over onto others.

A Hate for Worldly Pleasures.

“…Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you…”

Why would you love the world and what it offers if you have truly encountered the love of the Father? His love satisfies in a way nothing else can. When you walk closely with Him, worldly desires lose their grip. A real relationship with God produces self-control and shifts your priorities. The things that once consumed you, status, possessions and fleeting pleasures, begin to fade. As the old hymn says: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” If you know the Father, your desires will change. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life will start to lose their hold. And in their place, the fruit of the Spirit will begin to grow.

Do You Know Him? There is a day coming when many will stand before Jesus, confident they know Him only to hear Him say, “I never knew you.” For years, this verse filled me with fear. How can we be sure? How do we know if Jesus truly knows us? But the truth is, we don’t have to wonder. We don’t have to live in uncertainty, hoping we got it right. God’s Word is clear that we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments. To know God is to be transformed by Him, to walk like Jesus walked, to love as He loves and to desire what He desires. May you continue to grow in your knowledge of God as you draw closer and closer to Him.