Wait… For… It…

As I listened to the story about how my five-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Chiara, behaved at school when she was placed ‘in charge,’ I was half surprised and half amused. Chiara and her classmate were tasked with being in charge of their class and while their teacher was out of the room, noise was heard coming from their direction. The Primary Coordinator sent her assistant, Esther, to check what was going on and when Esther entered the room, she observed what resembled the music class from Sister Act – Back in the Habit. The pupils were standing and making noise uninhibited. When they were told to settle down, my little girl unapologetically said Esther couldn’t tell them what to do because she and her friend were in charge, not Esther. Stunned, Esther went back to the Primary Coordinator, who had been the one to place these rogue class captains in charge and told her that her pupils would only listen to the one who had given them the power in the first place.

I pictured Chiara striding confidently in her first-grade class, her small figure puffing up with pride, and a wave of nostalgia swept over me followed by a tinge of dread. She had been chosen as the “leader for the day,” a role that seemed innocent enough but had the power to transform my child’s demeanour in ways one could never anticipate. Let me explain the dread. I was only half surprised by my daughter’s sassy behaviour because it reminded me of my own back when I was in primary school and given the responsibility of being class captain. The reason I could picture her little body puffing up with pride so vividly is because I had lived it! The responsibility of leading my classmates filled me with a sense of importance that inflated my ego to monumental proportions. Yet, despite my childish enthusiasm, I was painfully unaware of the weight that title carried and the maturity it demanded. I imagined Chiara taking charge, her voice ringing out commands with authority and I couldn’t help but marvel at how history seemed to be repeating itself. See, dread. Jesus be a fence! The same power that had once gone straight to my head was manifesting in my daughter, and I couldn’t help but see that she too would need time to mature before truly understanding the gravity of leadership.

I would like to believe that I am a decent leader now, one who is both passionate and compassionate, taking the time to walk with people. It wasn’t always this way though, that seven and eight-year-old version of me will tell you.  I recall the mistakes I made during the times I was made class captain. Iye… (translated Oh my…) My poor classmates. There were moments when I let the allure of power cloud my judgment, making decisions that favoured my interests, or those of my close friends, over the well-being of all my peers. To say it took years of growth and introspection to realise that true leadership was not about asserting dominance but rather about serving others with humility and empathy would be an understatement. What I am grateful for, besides the time to grow, is that as a mother I am starting to see a lot of raw and wild material in my children. They are rough and a little corrupt right now, but I believe that with the help of the Holy Spirit, Ceaser and I can refine these ingredients into some pretty dynamic gifts for His glory. We just have to do the work on the back end while we say, “Wait… For… It…” on the front end.

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

I’ve read this Bible verse so many times. I even have it memorised and I always took it to mean that while we wait on God He renews our strength, we will mount up with wings like eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint. I still believe this to be true because I have experienced it many times in my life. When I read this passage again recently, in light of my little mama’s stint with power, I saw it in a very new way. What if God shows up for us in this way yes, and also after we wait? What if because we waited, the fruit for the season thereafter is renewed strength and all that goodness promised in Isaiah 40:31? What if God has wonderful things stored up for us to enjoy, participate in and accomplish but needs us to go through a waiting season, one of refinement and preparation so that when we get those things, we are not overtaken, offset or overwhelmed by them? What if our desire to get all those wonderful things now, before we have time to prove our character, shortchanges us from what God has prepared for us? What if were supposed to wait for God so that He can say, “Wait…For…It…” Eager to unveil us after our time of development. What if in our lack of patience, we risk messing a good thing up? A lot to think about huh? While you’re thinking about that, let me give you three additional ideas to ponder.

Patience pays

Saying that God is taking too long is arrogant. Chiara does this often. She’ll ask me for something and when I ask her to give me a moment, she instantly starts to whine, “But you will take too long!” I try my hardest to blink at her unmoved, but the truth is that most days this scene gets me very worked up. Such arrogance! While I may not be infallible and subject to human error, God our Father is not. He is holy, faithful, sovereign, all-knowing, gracious, merciful and always on time. Cue in Ashanti’s ‘Always on Time…” He is patient too because if I were Him, I certainly wouldn’t just blink at you!

My husband, Ceaser and I recently went on a dinner date at a restaurant we had never eaten at before. The menu was nice and different. We placed our orders and had to wait a long time for our food to come. It was long enough for us to glance at our phones to check the time and remark on the wait impatiently, but when the food arrived, we forgot all about the wait. It was amazing! As we ate and tasted each other’s food, I made a mental promise to come back soon. I know when I go back I’ll be excited as I go through the menu, knowing full well what it has to offer. I know when I go back I’ll expect the wait to be relatively long, but I’m sure I won’t mind as much as I did the first time. Why? Because I know whatever is presented to me after the wait will be well worth it. Ceaser hasn’t stopped talking about what he ate, and he isn’t even a foodie like I am! It’s gotten me thinking, if we can approach such a situation with newfound patience based on proven experience, why is it so difficult for us to relate with God in such a manner? I don’t know about you, but I have never said a prayer and thought to myself, “No matter how long I have to wait, I know that however He answers this prayer will be worth the wait.” No, I have not. Yet I have said that to myself about food at this restaurant. With God, I tend to whine and say, “You’re taking too long!” Such arrogance! Food for thought to you and me is to remember that patience isn’t a punishment but God’s mercy. Many times He has us wait for what He has promised because He is working in us to carry that crown, whatever it is, well. He doesn’t want our necks to strain or our heads to wobble because His gifts add no sorrow to them. Our waiting is Him restraining sorrow. Picture that in your mind’s eye. Now, stop meddling and trying to control what God is doing. Let Him work on the back end so that you can have that wow moment on the front end.

Posture is everything

If you’ve read my blog consistently or watched my YouTube videos you’ll know that I have terrible posture and it’s something I’m working on. I’ve been working on my spiritual posture too. Yes, ever since August I’ve been purposefully checking the audacity, tenacity, sincerity, humility and repentance in my posture towards God. Every time I’m running, sitting up straight or visiting the chiropractor, I’m reminded of my spiritual posture and how important it is too. The Holy Spirit is connected to our posture. He can’t properly rest on us if we are misaligned or fidgety. The thing about waiting for God is that when we feel His promise has been delayed, we start fidgeting. When we fidget, we go in and out of the spirit. One minute we’re tuned in, at peace, and steadfast, the next minute we’re in our flesh and anxious. I believe we delay the process further when we do this. If we can lock in and stay in the right posture, taking deep breaths and allowing the Holy Spirit to coach us through the discomfort and sometimes even pain, we can get to the other side of our preparation much easier. How is your posture? Do you have some pain points that you avoid because you’d rather not get into them? Those areas may very well be the spaces God needs to work through with you so that you can wear your crown kink-free.

Don’t forget perspective

I keep finding that the more I check my posture, the better my perspective gets. When I can see more clearly, my actions are more sanctified. Can I get an amen?! Perspective has power. When we can see what was once obscured, we have more information and with more information, we can do better. Our perspective is corrupted by comparison. Comparison blurs our vision and has us so focused on the journey of another that we can’t even see what God said about our journey anymore. In this funk, we can’t see or hear Him. In this funk, our faith deteriorates, and we start acting out. Whenever either of my children acts out I ask them if they have forgotten who they are. Acting contrary is a sign that you may have forgotten who you are and more importantly, whose you are. It’s a sure sign that your faith is wobbly. Wobbly faith happens to all of us, it doesn’t make you any less than Abraham, David, Peter or the rest of us. What it is, is an indicator that you have a little work to do, that’s all. Why? Because our ability to believe depends on how we perceive God. Perspective. Wobbly faith is a sign that we have a misconception about God or about how He sees us. Wobbly faith should send us back to the Father to ask all our questions, vent all our doubts, and cry all our tears. It’s there that He will lift your head and give you His perspective if you let Him.

The Bible says that God has prepared amazing things for us to participate in and enjoy. These things are already ours, set aside before the foundations of the earth were ever laid. What stands in the gap between us now and us having them is a little character refinement. Oh if we could just lean into it. God would set the stage, let us walk onto it all unassuming and steady and just when the world thinks it has sized us up He’ll say, “Wait… For… It…” Boom! He’ll shine so brightly through you it will be magnificent. Hold onto that visual while you wait. Trust that He isn’t withholding that moment to spite you, He’s reserving it in His mercy and love for you. Be patient, work on your posture towards Him and ask Him daily for His perspective on the matter. My prayer is that as you do, that moment will be even sweeter.