Building Your Circle – Mentors

Mentorship is such a buzzword lately. While the pace of life grows increasingly busier, it is refreshing to know that there is still value found in learning from those who have gone ahead in both life and career. Despite mentorship being fashionable today, many are still unaware of the value of this influence, guidance and direction which is given to the less experienced and often younger by someone willing to teach and invest. In our endeavour to build a foolproof circle around ourselves, recruiting a mentor is not only a good idea but a necessary one. 

“You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.” ~ 2 Timothy 2:2

The conventional style of mentorship requires the teacher to set aside time in which to invest in the learner, oftentimes creating a structured plan from which to instruct and guide. Other forms of mentorship involve the learner leading the direction of the sessions by asking questions, either way, a time investment is made by both parties. Finding a mentor who is willing to invest that time can sometimes be difficult but if we are willing to bring our needs before the Lord, He is faithful to meet them as He sees fit.

A few years ago I remember feeling like I had stopped growing. I had hit a ceiling of some sort and didn’t know how I could get past it. I would hear my close friends talk about the books they were reading, the training they were receiving at work or the one-on-one sessions they were having with their mentors and while I was happy for them and could see their growth, I felt left out, stagnant and stuck with no hope of catching up. I had just had my second child and my hands were full, to say the least. Reading books, though something I love to do, was no longer a practical method of learning that I could add to the already full plate I was trying to balance with work, a toddler, managing my home and sleepless nights with a newborn. Being the achiever that I am, while I knew all this, it still didn’t stop me from feeling like I needed to do more to jump-start my growth track. In one of the moments of these internal conversations I was having back then, I remember asking God to provide for me to also be able to pay for one-on-one mentorship like one of my friends was doing. The Holy Spirit asked me if I would even find the time to not only attend those meetings but do the work required if He did provide, and we both knew my answer was no. It wasn’t that I wasn’t willing or in need of growth, it was that in the season of life I was in then, the methods I thought were available to me were just not practical.

I remember praying and asking God to help me manage my time better and find ways to trick my clock so that I could have opportunities to grow even when my time seemed tight. Still craving a way for me to receive mentorship and knowing that whatever the case, I needed to keep growing to be a better person in all the hats I wear, I asked God to help me and He did. I honestly don’t even remember when or how I came across the podcast app, all I know is that this is the way the Holy Spirit chose to provide mentorship for me in that season and I still rely heavily on it today. I learned the art of redeeming my time by listening while I breastfed my newborn baby girl, while I drove to and from work or meetings, while I cooked and cleaned and sometimes even while I took baths. While my children are a little older today and my season has slightly shifted, while I have resumed reading, attending the occasional conference and even having a real-life mentor again, I still find myself gravitating toward the mentors I discovered on the podcast app and my circle is fuller for it.

One thing that the pandemic-induced shutdown in 2020 confirmed for me is that to everything conventional, there is an unconventional creative way that will give similar and sometimes even better results. I have seen this even with mentorship. The rise of social media and then the pandemic made the world much smaller and more accessible. With just a click of a finger, one can receive instruction and guidance from anyone anywhere in the world as long as they match the interests for which we seek mentorship.

Now look, I still value the one-on-one, in-your-face, let’s meet for coffee kind of mentorship, but I also value the fact that God doesn’t confine His methods to the four walls of a box. He is much bigger than that and He knows exactly what we need when we need it. I said it before, building our circles is very important to God and while His fingerprints can be traced by how He has handpicked some of the closest friends who line our circles, if you ask Him He can include people in our circle whom we can learn much from but probably never meet on this side of heaven.

The thing about mentorship is that it is a two-way street. The mentor can never be more invested in the process than the one seeking the mentorship. As we seek to grow through mentorship programs, whatever shape they may take, we have to participate fully in the process for it to be beneficial.

Be open. If we lack wisdom, we must go to God and He will meet us where the gaps are and bring fullness. He may not answer in the way we expect but we must stay open and trust how He will lead us.

Stay teachable. No matter how high we get, we must stay submitted to the leadership of the elders and mentors God has entrusted us to. Staying humble and teachable will attract the wisdom we are seeking from God. Remember that God resists us when we are proud but multiplies grace and favour in our lives when we are humble.

Commit to growth. The Bible promises us in Philippians that the God of peace will be with us if we continue putting into practice all we have learned and received. If we stay committed to growth, God will entrust us with more wisdom through different mentors.

Give back. One of the ways to ensure we retain the information we are taught by our mentors and continue practising it is to teach it to those around us. This is what Paul was telling Timothy to do in the New Testament, and this instruction still rings true even for us today.

As you pray about adding mentors to your circles, I encourage you to remember that the Holy Spirit is the greatest mentor we can ever have. You may wonder where to even start in finding a mentor and God is saying to you:

 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” ~ John 14:26

So be encouraged. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need and He will make a way for you, even in this.