Look At God!

The walk to the British Council was quick. The cool breeze felt good as I walked under the trees on the island along Cairo Road. The familiar path I had traversed many times before seemed unusually serene as if nature was as excited as I was. I quickened my pace, my mind racing with anticipation. This was the day I would finally know if all my hard work had paid off. When I arrived, I was directed into a room upstairs. The room was full of students creating a chaotic mixture of nervous chatter and laughter. It was a stark contrast to the calm I had felt moments earlier. The noise and chaos were a preamble to the confusion I would feel as I read my transcript in a few moments. I stood in line, my heart pounding slightly as my thoughts whirled with hope.

Finally, it was my turn. I showed my identification card, was handed my transcript and asked to sign for its collection. With trembling hands, I took the single sheet of paper out of its envelope, my name glaring back at me from the top. My mind refused to accept the grades as my own. This couldn’t be right. I had worked hard, applied myself as I always had, and even felt confident about each test paper as I sat for them. Yet here they were, the letters on the page mocking my efforts. The noisy room fell quiet in my mind as my stomach dropped. I tried to make sense of the letters, but they blurred together, making no sense. “Do you have any questions?” the lady asked, noticing my confusion. Her voice brought me back to the present. “What do these letters mean?” I asked, feeling stupid as the words exited my mouth. She graciously explained what I already knew. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak further, and left the room.

My walk back home was anything but cool. The heat of disappointment burned through me, making the journey feel endless. I felt sick. My mother and sister were waiting excitedly for my return, their faces eager for good news. I don’t remember if they said anything, but they both took one look at me and knew something was wrong. I remember crying because I genuinely worked hard to prepare for that exam. I didn’t understand how these grades were the fruit of my labour. I hadn’t seen such grades next to my name for years.

Despite the crushing disappointment, there was a glimmer of hope. I still managed to get into three of the five universities I applied to. The acceptance and rejection emails trickled in, the delays serving as a reminder of my perceived failure. It was a painful period, one where I questioned my worth and abilities. But in the confusion and hurt, God was working. The acceptance and rejection emails only came after God had made it clear His path for me wasn’t what I had planned. His plan was different, and I was beginning to see the outlines of a new journey, one that required trust and faith. I was willing to step forward but wondered how I was going to be able to redeem myself from the failure I was carrying.

In the weeks that followed, I prayed for guidance, for strength, for understanding. Slowly, I began to see that my worth wasn’t tied to a piece of paper or the name of a university. God had a purpose for me, one that was far greater than my limited vision. I realised that sometimes, our greatest disappointments can be the gateway to our growth. The failure I felt so acutely was the very thing that propelled me into a deeper relationship with God and a reliance on His wisdom and timing. As I reflect on that time now, I can see how God was at work, even in my pain. He was shaping me, teaching me to trust Him completely. “Look at God!” is not just a phrase; it’s a testament to my life’s story. Through my many failures, He has continued to reveal His path of unexpected blessings and opportunities. As I have walked these paths, confident or unsure, He has allowed me to live a life that shouts boldly, “Look at God!” For that, I am eternally grateful.

“If it is true that You look favourably on me, let me know Your ways so I may understand You more fully and continue to enjoy Your favour. And remember that this nation is Your very own people.” The LORD replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest, everything will be fine for you.” Then Moses said, “If You don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place.” ~ Exodus 8:13-15 (NLT)

Have you ever gone about life like you didn’t need God and your success and plans for future success are all you, no grace needed? Many times when we’re in this frame of mind, God will have to strip us of our ego so that when He rebuilds us, we can stand tall for His glory and not our own. I’ve certainly seen this to be true in my life and the lives of those closest to me. That stripping away process is gruelling and sometimes painful yet necessary. If you find yourself in a stripping down season, take heart and lean in, keeping in mind the following lessons I’ve held dear during such seasons. It will all be worth it in the end, if only you can stay committed to becoming a beacon of light that calls many from near and far to “look at God.”

Be open to a new perspective

Live your life with open hands. Don’t grip too tightly on the blessings and opportunities God gives you. Why? Because God always has more for us and if we keep too tight a grip on the things He has given us in one season, we restrict Him from giving us what He has for newer seasons of our lives. Being open-handed also means being open to the idea that your idea isn’t at all what God has planned for you. I think we can all attest to having times when we envisioned one thing for our lives, only to have God flip the script on us. In the flipping, we feel uncomfortable, jaded, disillusioned and even grieved, but when we’ve held on, we can all testify to the goodness that had been on the other side. When we allow ourselves to sit quietly before the Lord, hands and hearts open, He is faithful to speak and guide us. We may not understand everything He is saying in the moment, but if we are willing and obedient, He is faithful to show us His goodness.

Check fear, have faith

Growing up, I was mostly driven by fear. Something I have only discovered as an adult looking to God to rebuild my thought patterns and perspective. Growing up without my biological father and watching my mother work two jobs to provide the best for us, I was driven by the fear of ever lacking. Listen, my mother was a boss in how she provided for us because we lacked nothing and had so many extras in terms of experiences as well as material things. The problem was that I saw how hard she worked and I was afraid of having to work that hard. I hadn’t realised that even as I was planning what I would do as a career, these two fears undergirded my decisions and plans. Only after God took those away, was I able to see them for what they were, vain attempts at being my own provider.

Fear is not of God and anytime we are led by fear, our decisions will not be good ones. They may look good on the outside, with well-thought-out plans that will lead us to success but often our definition and picture of success don’t line up with God’s. I used to believe that success equalled money, a big house and a flashy car, but now I know, because of experience, that success is obedience to God. Plain and simple. When we decide to live our lives by faith rather than by fear, we open the door to a world of possibilities that God is eager for us to experience if only we trust Him.

Recognise miracles

In my short life so far I have come to learn that the odds don’t apply to God. They never have. We had a gentleman frankly ask, during an entrepreneur’s mentorship boot camp, what business a young couple had in the education industry. The truth is that we have absolutely no business being in the industry, we didn’t then and we don’t now… But God! Whenever God calls you to something that seems too big for you, you have to trust that He will always make up the difference. Allow yourself to be present in the miracles. Don’t be so caught up in worry and anxiety that you let the miracles just pass you by as you skip from one challenge to the next. Be present enough to thank God for the small miracles and the big miracles. When you posture yourself in this way, you will see just how many miracles He performs for you daily. Our lives, as children of God, are a cascade of miracle upon miracle, let’s not miss them.

Embrace challenges

One of the hardest lessons I’m still learning is that God always has my back and as such, whatever doesn’t happen, I have to trust that God, in His sovereignty, has kept that from me because it is not for me. Even though this is hard, we get to grieve that possibility, keep going and watch God for what is next. Trust God and His plan. It sounds easy enough as a life motto yet it takes daily faith and laying down of our desires in trade for His. It’s a life of faith and fortitude that is built as we allow life’s challenges to strengthen us. All the difficulties we face in life have a purpose, but if we choose not to stay close to God and in prayer during those difficulties, we will miss the purpose.

Be a light

What are you doing for others? This life we live is designed to make it easy for us to be self-centred and short-sighted. We must stay focused on the bigger picture that is at play, the kingdom of God and its advancement. Do you pray for God to bless you just for you or knowing that God will use you to bless others? Can God trust you with that kind of assignment? Can He trust you with the expectation He has of you to do His work and advance His kingdom? There are levels of faith and also levels of trust. In the same way, we desire our faith to be continually growing, we must desire the trust God has in us to continually grow as we prove ourselves faithful with whatever He gives us. These two things are true; God is not a respector of persons and He has levels of trust. God knows our hearts, so, when He looks at you, are you trustworthy?

What’s holding you back from doing that thing that’s bigger than you? The thing that you need to personally go with you to do or else you will fall flat on your face? The God I serve isn’t worthy of fear. He has come through too many times for you to fear anything, even the fear that you can’t do whatever it is that He’s calling you to because you don’t have it all figured out, you don’t have all the money or the right connections. Many times, these fears have held me back and in so doing I have dimmed my light and quieted my voice from shouting, “Look at God!” I pray that as you live your life and face your fears and failures, whatever they may be, you will be as Moses was, forging ahead through difficulty with God personally going with you and people looking on saying, “Look at God!”