Yes, and Amen!

Growing up, I often felt like the ugly duckling in my world of swans. My childhood and early teenage years were marked by a sense of invisibility being surrounded by my prettier friends and cousins. For some strange reason, I was always friends with the pretty ones; when I say pretty, I mean the cookie-cutter kind of pretty. You know, the perfectly flawless faces, the petite body with ‘just-so’ curves in all the right places. The ones that got the guy’s attention when they weren’t even trying. It wasn’t that I lacked charm or personality, but to a certain invisible standard, I always seemed to fall short in the looks department. From a young age, it was evident that the boys in our school gravitated towards my friends. They were the ones who received the adoring glances, the flirtatious smiles, and the innocent crushes. I, on the other hand, was usually acknowledged only when one of these boys needed a way to get closer to one of my attractive friends. It was disheartening to be seen merely as a conduit rather than a person worthy of attention in my own right. This dynamic extended to family gatherings as well. My cousins, blessed with striking looks, easily drew attention wherever we went. I’d watch as boys eagerly engaged with them while I remained in the background, which, at that age felt like I was blending into the scenery. After a while, I become comfortable in the sidekick role. Even as the acne cleared and the weight slowly came off, I understood my role in the different settings I found myself in and I was content to play it.

However, everything changed when I was fourteen and my sister and I went to Johannesburg for a family visit. Stepping into this new environment felt like entering a parallel universe where the rules I had grown accustomed to no longer applied. I was walking through the neighbourhood with my cousin one afternoon when I heard a sound that was entirely foreign to me: whistles. At first, I didn’t realise they were directed at me. It took a few more walks and numerous whistles for it to sink in. For the first time in my life, I was the one being noticed. The real shock came during a family outing one evening. We were out at a bustling location, and at one point, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. On my way there and back, I was approached by four different guys. Each one stopped me with a compliment, a question, or just an attempt to engage in conversation. My initial reaction was confusion; I couldn’t understand why they were paying attention to me. I had become so accustomed to being invisible that this sudden visibility felt awkward and surreal. “Am I being punked?” I remember wondering to myself.

As the days went by, this newfound attention continued. It was a heady mix of excitement and bewilderment. Part of me enjoyed the validation, the acknowledgement of my presence in a way I had never experienced before. Yet, another part of me felt unprepared and overwhelmed. How was I supposed to handle this shift? What had changed between home and Johannesburg? Reflecting on those weeks, I realised that the change wasn’t just about geography, it was about perception. In Johannesburg, I was seen without the shadow of my friends and cousins. I was appreciated for who I was, and that was a powerful revelation. It taught me that beauty is not a rigid concept, it varies from place to place, person to person and is often influenced by context and perspective. This experience was transformative. It challenged the narrative I had internalised about my appearance and self-worth. I returned home with a new sense of confidence, understanding that I didn’t need to compare myself to others to feel beautiful. It’s been a lesson that’s stayed with me, reminding me that true beauty is about stepping into the right light – God’s light. As I’ve navigated through life, I continue to learn to appreciate and love myself, not for how others see me, but for how I see myself. This has been my resounding amen to the yes God spoke when He created me. An amen that gets louder and more resolved as the years go by.

For as many as are the promises of God, in Christ, they are all answered “Yes.” So through Him, we say our “Amen” to the glory of God. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:20 (AMP)

Life is full of uncertainties. The older I get, the more I realise that it’s so much easier to be and stay uncertain than to be assured and convinced of anything. Doubt is always waiting to be called upon and social media doesn’t help. There are so many opinions floating around just waiting for us to grab hold of them as our own and many times we have to sit with ourselves and really question what we agree with. More importantly, what do you agree with concerning yourself, your life, your potential and your purpose? I’ve fallen into the trap of believing certain things that have been contrary to the truth about me and it has cost me in more ways than one. I’ve found freedom to show up in this world in the fullness of who I am but that freedom started with me agreeing with what God said about me. He is the only one whose opinion should matter anyway, He made me and is my God. When it’s all said and done, I want to please Him with my existence. Choosing to make those adjustments didn’t come easy and it continues to be my life’s journey. Allow me to share some of the crucial things I identified as roadblocks to my ability to line up my agreement with God’s Word about me. I hope they can help you check what you’re saying amen to in agreement about yourself.

Unchecked fears and insecurities

Fears and insecurities, gone unchecked, can become controlling barriers that prevent us from fully embracing God’s promises and truths about our identity. These internal struggles stem from a variety of places; personal experiences, cultural pressures, things spoken over us in childhood or even the lies we tell ourselves. When we allow these fears to run amok, they can overshadow the affirmations and assurances found in God’s Word. Fear of failure may lead us to doubt the possibility of success, even when God has promised to equip us for every good work. Insecurities about our worth or abilities can make it difficult to accept God’s plan for us and the truth that He doesn’t make mistakes. Unchecked fears and insecurities make it almost impossible to internalise and live out the truths that God has spoken over us. I have found that we easily fall into temptation when we don’t truly believe who God has said we are and who He has called us to be.

Contrary relationships

Do you have relationships that take you away from what God has for your life? Have some relationships become a blind spot, keeping you from agreeing with God concerning your life? Relationships have a noteworthy impact on our beliefs and attitudes, and contrary relationships can significantly hinder our spiritual growth and acceptance of God’s Word. When we surround ourselves with individuals who are sceptical, negative or contradict biblical truths, their influence can weaken our faith and confidence in what God has said. Friends or family members who question or mock our beliefs can cause doubt and confusion, especially concerning a specific word or calling God has given you to walk out. More importantly, romantic relationships not rooted in shared faith values can lead to compromises that conflict with the destiny God has prepared for you. The Bible warns about the impact of such associations, making it crucial to cultivate relationships that reinforce and support our faith, rather than detract from it.

Dwelling in the past

Dwelling on past mistakes, traumas, or sins keeps us trapped in a revolving door of negative self-image that contradicts our new identity in Christ. The Bible teaches that in Christ, we are new creations, yet many struggle to move beyond their past, allowing previous failures and hurts to define their present and future. This preoccupation with the past can make it difficult to fully accept and live out the forgiveness and redemption God has made available through Christ. What you’ve been through or what others close to you have been through doesn’t supersede the will and plan of God for your life. Holding onto those mistakes, bitterness and anger is what keeps us off track. Let go! Letting go of the past and embracing your new identity in Christ is the best way you can agree with God’s plan for your life. Stop letting your past hold you back. God wants you to be able to look at your past, no matter how horrible it is, and see His glory even through those situations. He was not in the pain but He most certainly is in the promise that comes out of the pain.

A lack of trust in God

One of the biggest barriers to agreeing with what God has said about us is a lack of trust in Him. Trust is foundational to any relationship, and our relationship with God is no exception. When we doubt God’s goodness, faithfulness, or ability to fulfil His promises, it becomes difficult to take His Word to heart. This lack of trust can manifest in various ways, sin, rebellion, relying on our own understanding rather than seeking God’s guidance, and doubting that God truly cares for us and our needs. Trusting God is all about believing that He is who He says He is and that He will do what He has promised. This isn’t for the fainthearted, it requires surrendering control and embracing faith, even when circumstances seem contrary to His Word. Strengthening our trust in God involves spending time in His presence, meditating on His promises, and remembering His past faithfulness.

When we see ourselves through god’s eyes, His grace and our knowledge of truth become a dynamic force that keeps us from forfeiting His promises for us. I find comfort in this and hope you can too, God loves us so much that He would not let the hardships of life or our mistakes mess up His plans for us. If He did, He wouldn’t be God now would He? If we decide to align ourselves, our thoughts, our beliefs and our hearts with Him, He can redeem anything for His glory and our good. So let’s do that, overcome these barriers and live out the truths and promises that God has declared over our lives.