Are You Still Winning? – Check Your W’s

Caleb and Chiara are a competitive pair. Much like me and their father, they desire to win or be a part of a winning team. Somehow, bath time has become a competition and I usually find myself racing against either one of my two little humans. The race is rigged from the get-go because their tiny little bodies are a third of mine which means washing them is much quicker. Secondly, they are assisted during bath time while no one is assisting me. Like I said, rigged from the get-go. As they rush to the bathroom, convinced that I am racing against them, what they know not is that I am not in the game. I am not rushing through my bath like I did when they were infants. No, I am using all the time I can get to be by myself, hidden away from the rest of my family in the only place I am hardly ever disturbed… the bathroom. I usually sit on the toilet, play some music on my phone and reflect on my day. Once I do get into the bath I sing, take in the scent of my body wash and thank the Lord for hot water. I am in no rush. I know I’ve lost the race but I am never moved. Instead, I relish the temporary solitude and use it to recharge myself for my evening routine with the winning team. Once done, I feign the heartbreak that I lost, allowing them to relish their victory. Funny enough, one of them will always encourage me by telling me I will win next time.

During one such race, I am not sure how but I won. I was racing against Caleb, and Chiara, sure I would lose like I always do, said she was on Caleb’s team. When I emerged from my bedroom and walked into the living room, Chiara was horrified. She ran to the bathroom door and banged on it to get her brother’s attention. “Caleb! Caleb, you’ve lost! What are you doing?!” she shouted. On the verge of tears she stopped and took a second to think, then like a switch had gone off in her head she smiled and shouted, “Well done Mommy! Well done, we won!” I stared at her confused while she skipped towards me and shouted, “Caleb, me and Mommy have won. You finished last!” Caleb was not pleased about being abandoned in his loss but soon got over it as we began working on homework for the day. I couldn’t help but find Chiara’s last-minute switch amusing. Since then, both Caleb and Chiara have insisted on staying neutral until the finish line has been crossed. For them, the bath-time competition remains intensely serious, while for me, it remains a peaceful reminder that we too jumped ship and joined the winning team of Christ after He had crossed the finish line and emerged victorious.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law, he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. ~ Psalm 1:1-3 (ESV)

How is your year going? Are you still winning? When you think of winning, what are your key indicators? As the year winds down, I can’t help but reflect on the past months and place the reality of my year up against the list that I had prepared to reflect my wins. I am sure you can agree that while we may have some goals sitting good and pretty in our bag, there have been a few curveballs and setbacks along the way. How we choose to measure our wins will determine how we close out this year feeling. Will you start your New Year feeling dejected and disillusioned, or will you stand firm in the knowledge that He who began a good work is faithful and just to complete it? It is entirely up to you how you answer that question, mine is to give you a few things to think about as you do. I want to use Psalm 1:1-3 as a lens through which we can look at our scoreboard for 2023.

Who are you walking with?

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked…” The quality of your life is a direct result of the wisdom that governs your life. What wisdom is governing your life? Often when we think about this we immediately think of wisdom from others, and this is right but it’s only part of it. I believe it is important for us to add to the list our own wisdom and the environmental factors that shaped us into who we are today. I don’t know about you but there have been times when God is trying to get me to win in a particular area but I keep talking myself out of it. I discourage myself, overthink and eventually count myself out of the race before I’ve even given it a chance to start. Other times, my environment, family culture, country and gender norms, trip me out of the race as they voice their concerns against what God may be asking me to do. While staying vigilant about the external wisdom we allow into our lives, we must also be on guard for our own thoughts and environmental gravitations that rise against the truth of God’s Word.

If we want to stay on the winning team we must let our wisdom and counsel come from the Word of the Lord. Winning is letting the truth of God govern your life. Winning is opening your heart and allowing the Holy Spirit to give you counsel from the sources He chooses. If we can become the type of people who say, “Lord, if you don’t move, I will not move. If you don’t go, I will not go. If you don’t speak, I will not speak,” then we can be sure to maintain a winning streak on the scoreboard of our lives.

Who are you standing with?

The Psalmist says here that a winner does not stand in the way of sinners. My pastor defines sin as missing the mark and so an accurate paraphrase would be… “Nor stands in the way of those constantly missing the mark.” Nothing defines a loser more than one who is constantly missing the mark. Sometimes the reality is that we become those people, the ones constantly missing the mark, tripped up by one weight or another. The antidote to this is to take an inventory of who we have surrounded ourselves with. How we are standing is important to God, this is why I love the passage in Ephesians where Paul says that when we have done all we can do to stand, we must keep standing. We keep standing because of who we have decided to stand with. If we want to stay on the winning team we must take a hard look at who we have chosen to stand with. Just like Chiara jumped ship that day when she realised she had misaligned herself with one who had missed the mark, you too can jump ship.

In this season of my life, I am thankful to God that I have friends whom I have known for many years and who love the Lord. I recognise that this may not be the same for many of you and the hard reality may be that you need to part company with some people who have been a part of your inner circle for decades. I pray that the Lord gives you wisdom, courage and strength in this. I also pray that He may bring people along your path who love Him and can love you too.

Who are you sitting with?

“… Nor sits in the seat of scoffers…” When I think about the part in the passage that speaks about sitting, I immediately think about being weary. The truth is that as we run our winning race, we will have moments when we become tired or discouraged and have to sit down to regroup. When you are discouraged, who do you choose to sit with? A scoffer is a person who mocks or makes fun of someone or something. When we are discouraged or tired in the game that is our life, we can sit with one of two groups of people. The first group is the winners, the ones who know that winning will have some losses and setbacks along the way and are prepared to sit down to recover and get back into the game. The second group is the scoffers who were once on the winning team, but rather than sitting for a season and getting back into the game, they stayed there and allowed their hearts to harden. Now they make fun of those who are winning in life because it’s the only way they feel better for not getting back in the game.

If we want to stay on the winning team we must be careful who we sit with when we face fatigue or discouragement. Winning is sitting with winners who understand that taking a moment to regroup is a crucial part of the game. Winning is allowing ourselves to be encouraged by others who have been where we are and understand that through the small losses, we are strengthened for the big win. Winning is rejecting the temptation to become a scoffer who made a choice that they blame everyone else for. Winning is recognising that even if you have become a scoffer, all you need to do is get up and get back into the game.

What are you meditating on?

“… but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law, he meditates day and night…” there have been times in my parenting journey, so far, that I have had to remind my children that I am a person just like them and not a vending machine. I have had to remind them that I have things I like and dislike, just like they do, I have feelings just like they do and I have a limit, just like they do. If we want to continue winning in life, we have to stay after God’s heart, not just His hands. We have to delight in Him, not only in what He can do for us. Psalm 119:10-13 is a wonderful passage to turn into a prayer in this regard:

I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your Word in my heart so that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, Lord; teach me your decrees. With my lips, I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your Word.

If we want to stay on the winning team we must be careful about what we are meditating on day and night. Winning is understanding that what we watch and listen to plays a big part in shaping our thoughts and patterns. Winning is asking God to show us where we may have left the door open to influences that don’t line up with His Word. Winning is being courageous enough to gouge some things out and cut some things off. Let the Holy Spirit help you as you do this check regularly. Keep your heart sensitive to His convictions and submit to the changes He calls for.

Whether or not you are winning can be summed up by five things: Who, what, when, where, and why. Who we choose to walk, stand and sit with will greatly affect the scoreboard of our lives. What you meditate on day and night is just as important. Your eyes and ears gates must be protected jealously. Whatever attempts to make entry must be sifted through the truth of God’s Word and if it doesn’t align, reject it passionately. When, is the year 2023. Where, is your heart, your soul and ultimately, your life. And why? Because the scoreboard of your life has great value. So great a value that your enemy is out to make you lose, forgetting that your victory was already won, if you would just align yourself with the winning team. My prayer is that in the last two months of 2023, you will take some time to realign and that as you do, your identity as a winner will firmly settle in your heart.