The Purpose of Yes

I recently had a conversation with my brother Jameel about the power of a simple yes in the wake of a seemingly random opportunity. When I look back on my life so far, I realise that I have gotten to where I am today by saying ‘yes,’ to the many, and sometimes random, opportunities presented to me. I am grateful for the people God used to give me those opportunities, and as I have reflected, I can see the intentionality of God and His fingerprints on every detail. I encouraged my brother to recognise now, at the cusp of his adult life, the value of his ‘yes,’ and how his life would be shaped, as was mine, by the power of this highly underrated three-letter word.

Let me paint you a little bit of the picture of how ‘yes,’ got me on the course of life I am on now. I will use one trajectory of ‘yes,’ seeing as life can oftentimes be painted as an interconnected web of yeses honestly. Here goes… As an eighteen-year-old, having just completed my A-Level examination, I said yes to a prompting of the Holy Spirit to ask where I could serve as an intern at my church. That yes, opened the door to me serving as an assistant to the then Children’s Director of my church. My supervisor was a beast in the best way! All those years ago, she had unprecedented ideas on how to enhance the bursting-at-the-seems children’s ministry. I loved her for that, and I gained favour with her because I was always game for her crazy-wild ideas. I remember one time, she took me aside and flat-out asked me why I was so willing to do whatever she suggested while others on the team hesitated or argued. My answer was simple, “We won’t know if it can’t work unless we try.” Though she had no idea there was an underdeveloped gift of writing in me, she boldly instructed me to begin writing lessons for the classes in hopes of solving a problem the department was facing. You see we used lessons written abroad and many times, though those lessons were great biblically, they had in them examples and scenarios that could not be translated into our Zambian context. This left I gap in both relatability and applicability for our children. What did I do when this instruction came? Scared I would fail terribly at the task, especially with the borderline unrealistic deadline I was given, I said “yes”.

That was the beginning of my ongoing study of the bible to gain a better understanding so that I could deliver it into child-friendly bite-sized pieces. Through this unavoidable delve into the Word, I had no idea that I would be forever changed. Fifteen years and counting of cracking open my Bible to study, understand, question and wrestle with all I find, yes for my personal growth and relationship with God, yet also for my team, my siblings, and my children. Gosh, my children… The conversations I have with them about complex biblical truths in ways they can grasp is beyond anything I could have imagined back then. As I took our Senior Pastor’s sermon notes and broke them down into a memory verse, three bible points and an object lesson, how was I to know that this would form the scope of my purpose? Today, a huge part of my job is curriculum development for pre and primary school students, both academically and concerning their character development. Then there is Famous Warrior, the videos, this blog and the conversations I have with those closest to me that spring out of this deep well, fifteen years deep. One ‘yes’ later, a scared little ‘yes,’ that had no idea what lay on the other side of her utterance.

Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. ~ Matthew 5:37 (NLT)

Above all, my fellow believers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but let your yes be a truthful yes, and your no be a truthful no, so that you may not fall under judgment. ~ James 5:12 (AMP)

Do you know your yes, has a purpose? In our fast-paced and busy world, we often find ourselves caught up in the constant flow of responsibilities, commitments, and endless to-do lists. Within this chaos, we may inadvertently overlook the value of saying “yes,” to the right things. Through this blog, I want to explore the significance of embracing the power of “yes” and how it can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

In the books of James and Matthew, there is emphasis made on the significance of being true to our word, reminding us of the weight our words carry, and the importance of keeping our promises. The integrity of our commitments and the value of sincerity in our interactions with others is underscored quite boldly by saying that our failure to do this is directly from the evil one. I would argue that recognising the power of purpose in our “yes,” can be a slippery slope if certain guardrails are not put in place, guardrails that align us with the Father’s heart for us. In my season of life right now I have four. I share these with you in hopes that you can check your own life and see if such guardrails exist.

My energy levels

I always took my energy for granted. I grew up knowing the saying, “Time is money,” and I always tried my very best to honour the time of others and maximise my own. My energy hardly ever got a second thought. I don’t know if turning thirty had anything to do with it but my energy has become my most valuable possession. The dip though! Those on the third floor should have warned a sister! It’s no surprise then that my energy levels, and their preservation, is one of the guardrails I have put in place to safeguard my ‘yes.’ Before this guardrail was up, I would feel overextended and resentful because I had quickly said yes to what I could have done with my eyes closed in a previous season. It takes humility to search yourself and admit that you are unable to commit to something. Every season God takes us to will require a higher level of humility, especially because we have never been in that season ourselves before. Yes, there are times when, energy or no energy, I am compelled to give my ‘yes,’ and ask for grace to follow through, but this isn’t where I live. Do you factor in your energy levels before saying yes? It may be a practice that will save you from quite a bit of grief and frustration.

The needs of my family

I know that I am called to do big things. I don’t say this with arrogance but with the most sincere heart. It’s a truth I had previously tried to escape. Now, I find peace in accepting that this is a mandate that I carry on my life, right to my very bones. Yet, with this truth, I know for certain that some of the biggest things I do will not be on a world stage but in the four walls of my home, with both my nuclear and extended family. I’ll be the first to admit, a few years ago I would not have added that last part in there. It has taken some growth, some losses and the patient teaching of the Holy Spirit to show me that I was born into my family of origin for a reason and that my love for them cannot and should not end there but should propel me into action. What that action looks like, I am still figuring out even today. I say all this to say that before I give my ‘yes,’ I have learned to place the needs of my family first. I am in a weird space of learning to live with the cost, especially when it comes to my children. Many times even after counting the cost of my ‘yes,’ and what it would mean for homework time and bedtime kisses that day, I still feel the sting of regret. I’m not sure if this ever goes away, but I don’t want to ever be in a situation where I failed to meet my family’s needs and it was because I flippantly gave my ‘yes,’ and did not consider them. Do you factor in your energy levels before saying yes? God has called you to them first.

Possible gain

Who doesn’t want some financial advancement? You better believe I factor that into my ‘yes,’ and you should too. But remember, not everything is about money. Many times the gain that may be on the other side of your ‘yes,’ is spiritual, sometimes it may be emotional. In that case, allow yourself to stack your ‘yes,’ up against your values and also submit to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. For me, the go-to question is, “Will this fill my cup?” Will my saying ‘yes,’ to this opportunity allow me to love on a friend or family member, or add some value to my life or soul? This is the guardrail I use to protect my ‘yes.’ It would be amiss for me to speak on the gain without speaking on the losses. With every yes, we say, we have consequently said a few no’s. like I eluded to before, many times saying ‘yes,’ means I have said ‘no,’ to doing homework with my children or can’t get home in time for carpet time. These two go hand in hand, ‘yes.’ with ‘no,’ and gain with loss. It is up to you to choose what you can live with at that particular time and, just like I am learning to do, learn to live with the choice you made. 

My present focus areas

For every season, there is fruit that you can expect to yield. There is also fruit that God is expecting you to yield. Being the most productive in each season means narrowing down what you want to, or can, focus on for that season. As a working mom with many other hats, I have found that it is easy to get more than a little bit haphazard in giving my ‘yes,’ if I don’t have the guardrail of two or three focus areas at a time. In this season my focus areas are my health, my writing and growth in my networking and business relationships. This guardrail of personal focus areas helps me filter through life’s opportunities faster and gives me a clearer sense of control over my ‘yes.’ Do you have a proper grasp of what your focus areas are in this season, year or quarter? I challenge you to think about this and even write them down. You’ll be amazed at how decluttered your life and your schedule can get.

I’ll ask again, do you know your ‘yes,’ has a purpose? Whether you know it or not, it does. God has blessed you with authority and free will to govern your life. Part of that governance involves you jealously guarding your ‘yes.’ It’s not always easy but it begins with you acknowledging that you haven’t always done so and deciding to be more purposeful moving forward. Consider three to five guardrails that you can place around your ‘yes,’ to help you live a more fulfilled and purposeful life. Once you do, share them with a friend or close family member who can help you stay accountable as you train yourself to value your ‘yes.’ I pray that as you do, God will honour your stewardship by bringing you some amazing opportunities.