Are You Winning?

“The key is not the will to win… everybody has that. It is the will to prepare to win that is important.” ~ Bobby Knight

I am terrible at geography! I dropped the subject in high school after much tribulation. I have a non-existent sense of direction and the Lord knew when he paired me with Ceaser. He is my direction guy. I find myself not even bothered to be aware of my surroundings when he is driving because I know he will guide me should I need to return there alone. Very early in our relationship, I tried to surprise him with a picnic at the place where he asked me to be his girlfriend and later his wife. I prepared our picnic basket with snacks and drinks, blindfolded him and began to drive to the location which was in an unfamiliar area to me at the time. Today we regularly pass this place, heading to different locations within the area. Anyway, back to that date. Ceaser had no idea where I was taking him, and I was feeling very excited about myself. After crossing the threshold from familiar to unfamiliar territory, I quickly took a wrong turn and was so turned around I had no idea how to get back where I came from, let alone get us to where we needed to go. Ceaser, still blindfolded in the passenger seat, could hear the frustration in my voice as I mumbled to myself and before long I pulled over to the side of the road, removed his blindfold, switched seats with him and let him drive. Looking around, he knew exactly where I had intended to drive us and much to my irritation, he laughed at me all the way there. About 11 years later, for the first time since that incident, I blindfolded my husband again. This time it was for his surprise fortieth birthday party. He made fun of me at the beginning of our drive, referencing my previous failed attempt. This time I let him have his laughs because I knew exactly where I was going and more than that, I knew something he didn’t know. Our dearest friends and closest family members were waiting to surprise him once we got to where we were headed, and he had no idea. When we arrived at our destination, I parked the car and removed his blindfold allowing him to see where we were. He smugly admitted that he knew where we were going based on all the turns I had taken. The sneaky bugger! I wish I had taken some deviations to throw him off the scent, but I didn’t dwell on it because beyond a short walk to the restaurant I knew I would have the last laugh, and laugh last I did! I got him good and I have video footage to prove it. What a win!

“Don’t you realise that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.” ~ 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NLT)

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” ~ 1 Corinthians 15:57 (ESV)

Before we can answer the question, “Are you winning?” We must first determine what a win looks like. Too many times we feel defeated when we are actually champions and then dance for joy at wins the Lord would not hesitate to highlight as sheer misses. We have to uncross our lines and ensure that we are on the same page with God. Celebrating what He calls a win and going back to the drawing board on our losses. Losses are a necessary part of the process of winning. They should never get us so down that we take ourselves out of the fight, rather, they should lead us to seek more after God. As we seek more after Him He will teach us to identify, chase more after and celebrate the wins in our lives. These are a few wins I think are not only foundational, but they set us up to have more personalised wins down the line.

Winning in healthy relationships

God values relationships. He is a God of relationships who chooses to operate through relationships. The God-head is a relationship and as ones made in the image of God, we are unable to function exclusively from relationships. This is made evident in how we function based on the health of our relationships. If you are married and you feel connected to your spouse and communication is flowing well in your relationship, chances are that you will have optimum functionality in other areas of your life. If you are a student, living at home or with older siblings and are having some turbulence in your relationships, chances are that this will negatively impact your studies and other interactions. Our interactions with other image-bearers are important to God, so much so that He has linked our relationship with others to our relationship with Him. Forgive others and He will forgive us, love others as He loves us, confess your sins one to another and God will heal you. The links are endless. The fact of the matter is that at the end of our lives, regardless of what we accomplish, what will count are our relationships and how we made people feel. What taste are we leaving in the mouths of those God allows us to do life with? How we answer that question will determine whether we are truly winning in life.

Winning in healthy storytelling

The Bible tells us that we overcome and conquer him, our adversary, because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of our testimony, because we do not love our lives and renounce our faith even when faced with death. I’m realising more lately that not everyone is winning, not because they don’t have what it takes or because God is not on their side, it is simply because they have allowed the devil to shush them. Shushed, we cower away into dark corners. Shushed, we have no weapons of warfare. Shushed, we let our enemy control the narrative. What story are you telling yourself and others? Who is the victor in your story? Who has the final say in your story? One of the reasons I decided to get pregnant with Chiara, despite my fears and my past experiences, was that God had placed a desire within me for my son to have a sibling. I was willing to let that desire die because I was afraid to get into the fight again. I was tired. I knew that though I would learn to be content, that desire would always be there and the Holy Spirit asked me, “Are you going to let the devil have the last say in this story?” My answer was heck no! My answer got me back into the fight and God did the rest. It hasn’t ended there though. I share my story often because the more I tell of how God has had the final say, the more I build my faith up for that to happen in other chapters of my story. Are you telling your story or keeping silent? Our interpretation of things we face in life will always be based on how healthy our storytelling muscle is. Rehearse the story of God’s goodness in your life and see what arsenal will become available to you.

Winning with a healthy honour for ideas

Our Heavenly Father is the ultimate idea man. As such, He will constantly be giving us ideas. When God gives us ideas, wielding them well turns them into weapons. I have several ideas written down in the notes section of my phone. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will wake me up in the middle of the night and share His ideas with me. I’m usually too groggy to conversate so I open the notes on my phone and write down what I hear Him say. In the morning, when I am fully awake, I pull the notes back up and get clarity on what He was trying to tell me. Most of the ideas for what to share in my blog, activities to try with my kids, ideas for my business and even chapters for a book I’m working on have come because I have opened myself up to receive ideas from the Lord. God has wonderful ideas He is eager to share with you, you need to give Him room in your space to do so. Additionally, we must be aware of the fact that God will trust us with more when He can see that we honour the ideas He gives us. Do you have a healthy reception and honour for the ideas God gives you? A big part of winning in life depends on how we steward what God entrusts to us.

Winning with a healthy view of wealth

Wealth and the creation of wealth is probably the biggest win according to the world. The more flashy material things you have, the more you are viewed by others as being a winner. God’s opinion has always been clear about us living life to simply gather material things for ourselves. It’s a big no-no! This isn’t to say that God doesn’t want us to have nice things and to be comfortable while on this side of heaven, He does. Material things and money should not be a prize to be won or fought for, they should be a tool to use to honour God and make Him known. When Ceaser and I moved into our flat we were so grateful to God for His amazing provision in making it possible for us to own our own home. We don’t view it as an arrival point, if anything I think of it as a test. I know how I steward this home, how I make people feel when they enter my home and what I choose to do in my home will determine what God does for us next and I take it very seriously. The wealth God allows us to own doesn’t belong to us, God has placed it in our hands trusting that we will use it to point others to Him. When we view wealth this way it will change a lot for us. It will motivate us to be wise with our wealth and to use what we have to set things up for the next generation, teaching them all about good stewardship along the way. When it is all said and done, all these things we strive to attain will fall away and the real wealth will remain, the souls of people.

Winning the battles of life isn’t pretty, it’s ugly, but after all the grit and grime God gets the glory. Don’t give up! Fix your crooked mirror and make sure you have the right perspective on what winning looks like. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you grace and wisdom to run your race to win and remember to bring others along with you as you do.