You’re Doing Better Than You Think

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~ A. A. Milne

I am not sure if it’s my personality, my upbringing, the fact that I am the eldest child or a perfectly imperfect combination of everything that causes me to lean towards all-or-nothing thinking. All-or-nothing thinking refers to extreme thought patterns. I am either a success or a failure. My performance was either totally good or totally bad. If I am not perfect, then I am a disaster. Even as I write this out, it sounds brutal and unrealistic, but try telling my mind that. In my mind, there is no middle ground, especially when I have missed a target I set for myself, most of which is unrealistic and completely absurd. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I am a planner, I am organised and administrative in my thinking and living. I have grown to appreciate my task-orientedness and use it to the best of my abilities to serve my family and others well. The downside is that as someone who is wired towards planning, achieving and excellence, my relationship status with myself has been complicated, to say the least. You may be wired similarly and not struggle as I do. I want to be like you when I grow up. I realised, quite recently, that my self-love was very conditional and works-based, which is certainly not how God wants me to love myself. To change my outlook on life, I need to change my thought patterns and this is exactly what I have been working towards.

“Now may God, the fountain of hope, fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in Him. And may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with his super-abundance until you radiate with hope!” ~ Romans 15:13 (TPT)

“We carry this confidence in our hearts because of our union with Christ before God. Yet we don’t see ourselves as capable enough to do anything in our own strength, for our true competence flows from God’s empowering presence.” ~ 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 (TPT)

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” ~ Romans 8:28 (NLT)

One thing I am always reminding myself of is to be kind to myself and to recognise that I am doing better than I think. Wait, that’s two things. Oh well, these two very important things have been a lifeline of late. I am much better at being kind to myself. Extending grace to myself is becoming a comfortable second nature which I am grateful to God for. Recognising that I am doing better than I think, on the other hand, is still so much of a challenge for me. I am still a work in progress in the hands of God. These are a few things the Holy Spirit has asked me to keep at the forefront of my mind as I partner with Him to make changes in this area. I would like to share them with you here. 

Your competence comes from God

The plans God has for us are good, plans to prosper us and bring us an expected end. His expected end. Our purpose and destiny are too big to fit in our hands. Rehearsing that truth has helped me during moments when I am beating myself up for not having measured up to a yardstick I set up for myself. It is not all on me or you, it never was and it never will be. In and of ourselves we haven’t got a prayer. When I calm my anxious emotions with this truth, I am sobered by the reality that sometimes my best won’t be good enough. That’s just a fact of life and it doesn’t have to bring me down. In such moments we must remember that in our weakness, He is made strong and that we are better off for having tried than for not having done anything at all.

Your environment matters

Do you ever take moments to just look at where you are and how far God has brought you? I usually don’t and it’s something I am working towards changing. Each morning during my quiet time, I try to identify one area and reflect on how I am doing. Not my wild and crazy all-or-nothing thoughts, but facts that I write down so I can see them and even say them out loud. It allows me to see that God is indeed working in me and though I may not always see the growth, it’s there. We are cherished by God. The knowledge of this truth should motivate us to do two things concerning our environment, first, to be thankful that we are not where we used to be, and second, to righteously guard our space. Who and what we let into our space will affect how we think, feel and behave. This means that as cherished children of God, you and I can’t be outcheated going just anywhere and hanging around just anyone. Believing that we are doing better than we think will cause us to partner with God by appreciating and protecting our environment.

Your emotions can’t lead

God created our emotions, sometimes we forget though, that we are spirit beings having a mind, will and emotions, contained very nicely in a body. Our true self is our spirit. Before we are saved, our bodies have total control leading our minds, directing our will and influencing our emotions as they see fit. Once we are born again, born of the spirit of God, our spirits are made whole, ready to take their rightful place in our being. The body needs constant reminding that there is a new sheriff in town and our souls are simply waiting to see who wins out. Our emotions were never meant to be master over us, rather, we are to master them. There are two definitions of the word master that stand out to me here. The first is the meaning I am alluding to already, which is being in charge, and the second is having proficiency. We must be in charge of and be proficient in our emotions for us to live in the fullness of who God created us to be. Understanding what we are feeling and asking the Holy Spirit to help us trace why we are feeling as we do is an important life skill. When we master our emotions, we will find it easier to act based on facts and not feelings while still acknowledging that our feelings are valid yet fleeting.

Your life is an unfolding masterpiece

You and I are not complete. For as long as we are on this side of heaven, our stories are still being written. Several upcoming chapters to our story are unknown to us, which is why we must Trust God. We have to trust that God is working all things together for our good. We have to trust that even when we fail, His strength is made perfect in our weakness. We have to trust that though we are incapable in and of ourselves, our true competence comes from God. God doesn’t do anything worthless. I have had to admit to myself and repent before the Lord about the fact that at times because I haven’t measured up, I believe myself to be worthless. God saw the masterpiece of you and me and then said, “Great, now let me create them.” God sees the end from the beginning, He has already seen how you and I will turn out otherwise He would not have created us. The fact that we are here means that we are masterpieces. So, like me, whenever you are tempted to think of yourself as being worthless just because you are not where you hoped you would be, remember that God doesn’t do shoddy work, give Him time, and He will reveal you in due time.

Give yourself time and room to make mistakes along the way. It will all come together in time. Remember, every big thing is just a grown-up small thing. As you grow, acknowledge God every step of the way, diligently guard your environment, master your emotions and behold the beautiful masterpiece of God that is you.